walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize