its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
