Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
