The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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