pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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