I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
