and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
