Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
