I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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