Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
