Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
