I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He felt like a one man threesome
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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