i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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