Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
