I don't usually arrange sex via text message
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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