i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Randomize