boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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