Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
