come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
