tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
