Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize