Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
