I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
