sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize