My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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