Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
