a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
