I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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