i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
