I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I cut my penus on the lid.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
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