I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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