what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
you had me at cake vodka
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
