I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
