addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
