tell your sister to shave her snatch
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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