I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
