so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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