Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
nutella sex= disaster
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize