i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
honey bunches of taint.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
