He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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