you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Randomize
