I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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