help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Randomize