It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
