and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
