3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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