I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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