Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
