I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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