shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
