Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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