I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize