i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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