Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
