need another drink. this is the easiest way
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
