I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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