Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
