I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
