I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Michael Bay diarrhea
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
