I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
