made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
