Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
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