i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
