Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Randomize
