I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
