she woke up with a sticky ear
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
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