whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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