i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
