i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize