Rock
Scissors
Fuck
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
