there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
