you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
