I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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