I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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