he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize