I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
