You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
