i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
